Some how Some way, i ruined what i thought to be love. and i cant realize it yet. but i have been blocked by him and its been for no reason revealed. my astrology says "You're just going through the motions today, Virgo. Take some time out to deal with what's going on. You're getting through the day now -- but if you let stuff fester, it's going to be harder and harder to do so." and un fortunatly its right. something is going on and i need to just not let it bottle up but i cant help but do so. lately to many wrongs have been happening and not enough rights. and i fear allto come out and be the worst. i dont know weather to hide my eyes behind lifes reality or come out straight and move on with no cares. i know i cant do that though. i love the kid. and i cant just get up and go. i was working on 1,500 for a ticket and it was in the bag to go see him and things started getting weird between us. and i didnt mean to say anything offending today but he kept calling me a damn "sook" and pretty much means im whining and i wasnt i was just worried we were ending before our own eyes. and i thought maybe he realized and didnt care. and it seems he dosent. and ten times worse if its because of these pictures i put up. we broke up a while ago cause of distance me(ohio) him (australia) and either way yea. this was going to be good for both of us but i guess it wasnt meant to be for me just like everything else. i guess ill get over it right? probably not cause no one not even david understands how much i cared for him... oh well by the time i read my screen again he wont be anyone watching me. and hell never read this so its a good thing i guess. but im going to stop cause im just ruining this moment even more as i speak about it.

misa